ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
