I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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