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• (646): View more from New York

  I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.

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• (818): View more from California

  Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.

  (818): View more from California

  Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.

  (818): View more from California

  And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.

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• (415): View more from California

  I'll probably hate you when I'm sober

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."

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• (214): View more from Texas

  For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...

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