is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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