Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
