No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You left your phone here
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