When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
