its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
