someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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