So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
no, he came in my armpit
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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