i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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