Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize