JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize