At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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