what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
