were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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