Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
