I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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