so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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