she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
