can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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