i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
