HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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