her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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