and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
