So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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