I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
