One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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