ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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