I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
