Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
