Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
