yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
