then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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