apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
