If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
