dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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