I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
