where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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