yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
