did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The ass gains better be worth it
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