Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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