wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
3pm strippers are depressing
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
