Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
