Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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