i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My feet surprised me
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