i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
