I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
