Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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