How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize