I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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