After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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