Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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