The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
