I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
