guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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